either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
They high fived mid Eiffel Tower, then we all proceeded to talk about how our friendship is much stronger now. I'd say a successful first threesome.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Randomize
