I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
I can't hang out with this penis. I'll start thinking I like the person it belongs to.
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
