i found out what alaskan girls practice during those six months of darkness
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That accounts for only three of the penises
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
Come share oat with me in your robe
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize