I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
