My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
