The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
I wish I only lived at night.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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