That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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