Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
