so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize