; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
So the bouncer told me I could leave the easy way or the hard way. I told him I was going to make him earn his 10 bucks that hour.
Apparently you chose the latter.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Randomize
