put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
I feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
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