I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Just invented taco cereal.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
4:37 am. You're wearing underwear and carpet skates. Borderline crying. You want to punch Morgan. Have not stopped singing Give Your Heart a Break.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
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