Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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