Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I fill condoms, not promises.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
Randomize
