what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
