i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
