did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
i would punch a child for taco bell
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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