i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
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