I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
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