PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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