just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
Randomize
