would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
You don't usually get feedback after a one night stand... But you hit it out of the park. I'm proud to call you a friend.
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Randomize
