where are you
in your bedroom
how did you get in
your wife…
WTF
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
my mom snuck into my room, washed her clothes and made her breakfast. what the fuck she's a better boyfriend than I am
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
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