Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
woke up next to the new dishwasher. set the record for banging a new employee to 6 hours...i should be a professional sexual predator
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
I'm not fucking you with a Stormtrooper helmet on!
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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