Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm rolling and just noticed that the thread count on these sheets is horrendous.
Randomize