but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
are you excited because you wanna see me or because you wanna get laid?
bc i get to see you. naked.
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Randomize
