She said her name was "party"
do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
