Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
He cried & told me I reminded him off his mother. I don't want to talk about it. I want to drink about it.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
jump out the window naked night went bad
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize