12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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