Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
If there's so much of a hint of a whisper from somebody I didn't tell personally, I will cut off your balls with a chainsaw, cauterize the wound with a flaming rusty spoon, feed your balls to your dog, and feed them to you when he shits them out, capiche?
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
Randomize
