Fine. I'll sleep in my office
Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
Randomize
