Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Randomize