Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
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