I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I was grinding on him when mosquitoes starting biting us and ruined every damn thing. I just wanted to fuck on a slide under the stars. It's every girls dream.
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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