she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
