mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
