Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Randomize
