My nipple is on Facebook.
I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
I spilled wine on my pillowcase and I figure it's basically my lifeblood so I'm just leaving it
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Randomize
