you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
Seeing Harry Potter 3D stoned: Pro- giant redheads w/cute accents. Con-weeping for stoners who only had Pink Floyd laser shows.
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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