He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I am standing at the lion i publicly humped last night. i am mortified.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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