so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
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