it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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