I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
That was the night, like, my hair caught on fire...
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Something like, "Merry Christmas. I hope Santa shits in your mouth."?
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
