Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
just once I'd like to not pass out before we leave the designated pre-drinking place
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
Randomize
