I just used my 2 drink stirrers as chopsticks to get a lime out of my drink. I really am Asian.
Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
Randomize
