Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
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