i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Hi, my name's audrey!
Max?
Sorry, this girl is phone-stealing drunk.
i think i should save myself the $200 for a prom dress. i mean why bother. its just going to be covered in vodka/jizz/and puke by the end of the night.
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
For looking exactly like her, she tasted less like her sister than I would've thought
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
