It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Carrying your RA back to her room wasn't the conclusion I was expecting for the first thursday back
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize