i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
He took the lighter and said "this is how I give myself a bikini wax."
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize
