I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
You lured him into the bathroom with a trail of jello shots, then proceeded to barricade the door with duct tape. You really should have thought that one through..
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
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