I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I'm so drunk and angry about the Michigan game the fact of my relationship being over doesn't matter
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
Randomize
