She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
Randomize
