I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize