There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
apparently the secret to your success is patron
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize
