she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
