so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
Randomize
