We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
I'm 99% sure I just puked glitter. Wine drunk Mondays shouldn't be a thing.
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
