I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
I think my moral compass just broke
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
Randomize
