i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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