My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
Why did I wake up to grapes taped my ears ?
Sorry dude, we didn't want you to hear us. Seemed like a good idea at the time.
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
