I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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